Snack of the Afternoon, 12/31/09: RITTER SPORT WINTERSORTE 2009

December 31, 2009

Translation: Yum.

My friend Allison lives and studies in Switzerland, which (as you may know) is wedged in between Germany, Austria, Italy, and France. That’s a whole buncha Europe going on, in there! She came home for the holidays and gifted me with this famous German chocolate, which is… not at all translated. But Allison told me that this is the winter edition, and since today is the last day of 2009, I figured I’d post a picture before the chocolate lost its relevance.

Loosely translated, this is a spice cookie covered in chocolate. I LOVE spice cakes and cookies, so I was very excited to dig into this. I’m going to try to limit myself to one little square a day. TRY. That’s a New Year’s resolution if I ever heard one.

I thought the back was kind of hilariously inscrutable, so here’s a picture of that, too.

Knick-Pack!

The one time I went to a German-speaking country (Austria), I was quite confident that I’d be able to translate signs and such, because English is derived from German. If I broke down the long words into the shorter pieces that I recognized, I’d be a translatin’ fool.

But that was not the case. And I got very lost and took a train-bus thing toward the wrong place, until an old man who only seemed to know one word of English (“Helicopter!”) pointed me in the right direction.

Luckily, I can eat the chocolate without translating the wrapper. Or so I think.

xoxo…


Big Love for THE LITTLE COUPLE

December 31, 2009

The Best!

Over the break TLC marathon’ed episodes of “The Little Couple.” I already knew that I liked Bill & Jen from watching specials about them in the past, and sure enough their show is a total delight. They are so funny and complement each other so well. I hope they never pull a Jon & Kate on us. (I never liked Jon & Kate, anyway… sorry.)

Add this to your DVR. It’s fun for the whole family. Trust.

Sorry if I tricked you by saying “Big Love” in the title. I DO watch that show, and it IS premiering soon. But I got nothin’.

Happy New Year!

xoxo…


Snack Trek: KOGI BBQ TACO TRUCK

December 16, 2009

Not pictured: Plastic spork, c. elementary school.

This was not really a snack trek for me, because the Kogi Truck (one of them) came to our office. But in real life (I work in TV, which is not real life) the Kogi Trucks move around, and you have to follow them on Twitter to know when or where they’re going to pop up in your hood… or you drive out to wherever they are.

I have heard a lot of hype about these Korean BBQ tacos, and you know what? For once, something lived up to the hype. THANK YOU. The tacos were a little bit spicy, had a nice amount of veggie crunch, and the best part– savory marinated meat. I mean, I’m not converting to their religion, or whatever. But I enjoyed what I ate.

I ordered a short-rib (beef, apparently), a chicken, and a tofu. But I only ended up getting two tacos. I think one was the beef, because I know what a beef is. The other was probably chicken, but might have been pork. The problem is that since I don’t eat pork, I don’t know what it tastes like. So I can’t tell if I’m eating not-chicken. Does that make sense? I have a history of ordering not-pork and ending up with pork, because God loves to play jokes on his Jewskis. Some funnier than others.

This guy's not laughing.

Coincidentally, the Kogi truck is hitting up my itsy bitsy hometown tonight. So if you’re reading this from my hometown (you know who you are)… hit up the Kogi Twitter and hustle over there. $2/taco. Not bad. Not bad at all.

xoxo…


New VAMPIRE DIARIES on January 21st!

December 16, 2009

You ready for this?

Winter can be a difficult season. The sun sets at freakin’ 4:30pm, which is not even nighttime. That’s the AFTERNOON. If you’re an assistant (like me), you’re probably scrambling to pull together all sorts of gifts and parties and orgies and whatever else your boss wants you to do. But there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

No, not Christmas. Not New Year’s, either.

People– we are a little more than a month away from a NEW episode of “The Vampire Diaries.”

Don’t believe me? Watch this trailer/preview thingie:

Ever since her cliff-hanger car accident (spoiler alert– I guess she’s fine?), Elena is all about the Bump-Its. (I have to hyphenate, or I see it as Bum-Pits. Gross.) So maybe she sustained some brain damage? (Or spent her recovery time hanging out with Snooki from “Jersey Shore? Snooki is all about tall hair… and guys who shoot up steroids? Eek.) Or maybe Damon is all up in her head? And maybe she’s Katherine? And witchcraft!?! (Duh. That’s not new. Calm down.)

I’m excited. Get excited. Watch the marathon that’s running on The CW every night this week. I haven’t been home, but I’m set– if you read the recaps, you know that I’ve more or less got this shit memorized. And when I say “shit,” I mean… amazingness.

xoxo…


This Should Be Good: Adam Lambert on the SYTYCD Finale

December 16, 2009

Work it.

Remember when I was writing a novel (really!) and I stopped doing The Binge for awhile? Remember how I said that I was still watching the shows, regardless? Well, that was mostly true. But I dropped “So You Think You Can Dance,” because it was wayyy too time-consuming. During the summer, I’m all about hours and hours of dance-TV. But during the rest of the year… sorry, I gotta get my beauty sleep. I mean, you saw me on “30 Rock.” Imagine what I would look like if I DIDN’T get my beauty sleep.

But I will TRY to watch the finale (I think it’s on my DVR), because that’s basically a recap of the season’s best dancing. But REALLY I want to watch because Adam Lambert is performing. How perfect is that? I hope he makes out with everybody, starting with one of the male dancers. (I don’t know who they are! I’m out of the loop!) And then Adam Shankman, and Simon Cowell, and Susan Boyle, and Ellen DeGeneres, and whoever else is there. (I haven’t been watching!)

Next season: Lady Gaga. (I hope!) If she’s still living on this planet.

Also: I ate a delicious gingerbread cookie today. God, I love spice cakes and cookies. (Thanks, God.) I don’t have a picture. You just have to believe me. And you also better believe that I ran TWO MILES this morning. And watched MRS. DOUBTFIRE  (on TV, so it counts) over the weekend– which I haven’t seen in FOREVER. (Those events aren’t related, but they all happened.) I feel a tangent coming on…

It’s hard for me to believe that the kids don’t KNOW that Mrs. Doubtfire is their dad (SPOILER ALERT), because… wouldn’t you recognize your dad in drag? I look a lot like my dad, so my dad in drag would look suspiciously like me. (And/or Judah Friedlander.) And the scene where the son realizes that Mrs. Doubtfire is a man? It’s kind of trans-phobic. I didn’t think about THAT last time I saw it, c. 1999.

But whatever. It’s Robins Williams in his heyday. And Sally Field. And Pierce Brosnan. And that Lawrence brother. And that “Dude Looks Like a Lady” song. And a petting zoo. And San Francisco.

I’m tired. Wake me up on Saturday.

xoxo…


Hanukkah is a Greasy Holiday

December 11, 2009

Happy Hanukkah, my deers.

Happy Hanukkah to my fellow Jew-men and Jewesses. (And Jew-children. I can’t forget about them.)

I could have put a picture of latkes or jelly donuts, but just thinking about Hanukkah food makes me want to run to the nearest shower. (If you’ve ever been in a crazy science lab… you know those emergency showers?) So much oil! The air gets greasy. Arteries get clogged. It’s a mess!

A delicious mess.

Pass the gelt. Or pass me some real, non-chocolate money. Either way.

xoxo…


BIGGEST LOSER Finale Tonight!

December 8, 2009

We're all so excited!

The losers have lost so much weight! I’m excited to see what they look like now. I won’t be watching “live” with America, because I can’t always schedule my life around America’s live weigh-ins. But I will watch it soon, I’m sure.

Prediction: Rudy will be hot. Rudy has always had beautiful eyes (so glad he always wears the blue shirt!) and great hair. If he is not hot I will be in trouble, because I keep telling my sister that Rudy is the fat-guy version of her boyfriend. (Her very good-looking boyfriend!) (Forgive me!)

Rudy was my favorite for most of the show (after Abby got kicked off… how could you not love Abby?), but after last week’s home visits, I found new love for Danny and Liz. Poor Liz lived in the booniest of boondocks (her mailbox was a MILE from her front door!) all alone while her husband went off to who-knows-where for work. And she was having problems with her marriage! Sad.

Danny won my love when he had a breakdown (during a workout with Jillian, of course) because he thought losing weight would solve his problems at home, but THE PROBLEMS WERE STILL THERE. SOB! And then his wife was sad, because she was afraid that Danny would get too handsome for her. Luckily Jillian was there to do her self-help Jillian thing. (PS Does post-makeover Danny look like TR Knight, John Kerry, or someone else entirely?)

Side note: I think Rudy and Danny are going to need their extra skin removed. Do they do that before or after the finale? Because they usually look totally fit at the finale, but that extra skin removal would be cheating, weight-wise. (And leave huge scars– did anybody else see TLC’s “650-Pound Virgin: The Weight is Over”? No?) (Isn’t that the worst title? Poor guy lost all that weight…)

And Bob was plugging Subway party platters, which Amanda’s friends/family had to pretend wasn’t the worst, chintziest party food possible. Yum yum, Subway party platters. Totally reminiscent of, like, going to some boring college event sponsored by the Geology department. Free Subway for everyone who comes to the lecture about volcanic crust!!!

I really hope that Rudy doesn’t end up like that deli-working guy, who looked grrrreat at his finale and has since gained all the weight back. His environment seems most anti-work out. He works 12 hours, has a 1.5 hour commute, and when he gets home his kids leach onto him and beg him not to go to the gym. (His gym looks like a seedy, beat-down Curves. There’s one of each machine, and carpeted floors. I swear. Makes my middling LA 24 Hour Fitness look like freakin’ Equinox.)

And Amanda’s Amanda. She’s nineteen. If Bob liked the ladies, they’d sooo be engaged. And they’d have Subway party platters at their wedding reception. And instead of cake— Extra Polar Ice gum! Or whatever Bob plugged via DVD last week. To curb the hunger!

And that marathon was cruel. Producers, don’t be cruel. A half-marathon would have sufficed. Although… it inspired me to have a little Daily Binge triathlon of my own: 1 mile on the treadmill, 2 miles on the stationary bike, 3 miles in the… um… shower. When I finished, I didn’t get a video of my former self giving me Ghost-of-Christmas-Past messages about never being a lazy sloth again, but… I’m not on TV.

So… what am I even talking about? Yeah. Biggest Loser finale tonight! I love them all! (Except Tracey.) Good job everybody.

Hope they keep the weight off.

xoxo…


Did You See Me On 30 ROCK Last Night?

December 4, 2009

That's me on the left. I trained with Uta Hagen.

I brought my own wardrobe and did my own hair. It was really chill.

But seriously, I think I wore that outfit to work yesterday. Only– with boobs.

Judah Friedlander and I are rocking the same hair product. Sometimes I use Enjoy, sometimes I use Mixed Chicks (for reals, that stuff works). Whatever Judah’s not using that day, because we alternate. And we share the diffuser. Because we are friends, and friends share everything.

I think I’ll be FrankenLiz for Halloween next year. I’ll start out the night as Frank in a Teenage Grandpa trucker cap, and I’ll slowly evolve into a manly-looking Liz Lemon.

But seriously, “30 Rock” killed it last night. Amazing. The best one in a long, long time. Dr. Spaceman, you da you da best. And whoever played Handsome Jack in the HD monitor… you are handsome. You get my Random Handsome Guy on TV award, which only happens once per night. So it’s a big honor.

“Parks & Rec” was also mega-funny. Not a surprise. And the waiter at Jurassic Fork was pretty cute. He’s the runner-up.

xoxo…


Dear FLASHFORWARD: What Up With That?

December 4, 2009

Okay, a few things about the latest episode of “FlashForward.”

I can’t even begin to talk about my WTF moments in regards to the story and dialogue. I don’t have all night.

But let’s talk about this:

Future NRA member?

Please direct your attention to the framed picture on the right edge of this screengrab. Am I crazy, or is that toddler toting a gun?

Also, there was a black guy with blue eyes, and I wondered if he was the guy from Beyonce’s “Halo” video. (That’s my jam.) Then I slapped myself upside the head and said, “Elysse, don’t be silly. Not all blue-eyed black guys (er, African Americans… is that better or worse?) are the guy from the Beyonce video. You’re racist and terrible.”

But then it WAS him. And I’m actually just good at recognizing actors. Like when I recognized “Mad Men” crazy-mistress Suzanne Farrell (Abigail Spencer) on “Castle” last week. Or that other time on “Castle” when Duck from “Mad Men” (Mark Moses) guest-starred, and the guy who played his gay brother ended up being Quinn’s dad on “Glee.” The same actors are on every show! It’s a conspiracy.

It was hard for me to see him playing some serious antagonistic guy…

Baby I can see your halo.

Without thinking about this…

Is he real, or is he a fantasy?! All I know is that the lighting in that video is doing to Beyonce and that actor what Tom Sawyer likes to do to fences with a paintbrush. Did I do that right? Do ya dig? Have you read any Mark Twain lately?

There is only one person who can get to the bottom of this. Not really, but that video is just about as chock full of crazy as my brain right now.

xoxo…