My Ketchup Paradigm Shift

August 3, 2010

The same, but different.

I eat a lot of ketchup. Like, a LOT of ketchup. In my high school yearbook staff picture, I am posing with a ketchup bottle. If you are my Facebook friend or found me through FoodBuzz, you’ve probably already seen this “about me” quote:

“The classic struggle of man versus ketchup!” -Reno 911

(It came from TV. Of course.)

As a result, I am somewhat of a ketchup savant. My ketchup of choice is Heinz. I can taste a ketchup and KNOW if it’s not Heinz. Like, at those weird diners where the ketchup is served in generic bottles. And I remember thinking that ketchup in Europe didn’t taste sweet enough.

There is a famous restaurant in LA called Umami Burger. People go NUTS over their burgers. For some reason, it makes me sick. Like, stomach revolt. (My co-worker says it’s the Korean spices?) But the reason I bring up Umami is that they make their own gourmet ketchup. I was so excited to try it, but my main impression was that it tasted kinda fishy, or vinegary.

And I have tried organic ketchup before, and wasn’t a fan. (It’s a different shade of red. A freaky shade.)

My industrial-sized bottle of ketchup finally ran out, so I headed to Von’s for a replacement. I noticed that Heinz had a new offering on the shelf: Simply Ketchup. Intrigued, I compared the ingredients in Simply Ketchup to the ingredients in regular ol’ Heinz. Can you spot the difference?

Simply Heinz:

Took this in my kitchen. So you can see which one I chose. Spoiler alert.

Regular Heinz:

Took this at work. Spoiler alert: Kitchen table.

Here’s a hint: Simply Heinz doesn’t use corn syrup.

Until recently, I wasn’t aware that corn syrup is basically an American problem, introduced in the 1980s-ish because… cheapness. Big Corn. Whatever. It’s making people fat. And it’s why nothing tasted sweet enough, in Europe. (Except gelato in Italy. That was perfect. And chocolates in… everywhere. American chocolate is waxy.)

So I got on my righteous high-horse and bought Simply Ketchup. I took it home and poured some over my Baked Ruffles. (One of my favorite snacks. Don’t judge!) You can probably guess what happened next.

The ketchup didn’t taste right! It tasted like… vinegar, I guess. It kind of stung my tongue. (That’s a fun phrase to say out loud.)

The corn syrup is what makes the ketchup sweet. Without it, it’s… you know, savory or something. Maybe it’s umami, in the tastebud sense.

I am going to try to get on the Simply Heinz bandwagon. Because… I don’t want corn syrup to rule my life, dammit! This is how ketchup is SUPPOSED to taste. This is how Don Draper’s ketchup tasted. This is authentic, old-fashioned, pre-corn syrup ketchup. (I think?)

But it’s good to know that there’s still Normal Ketchup in the office kitchen. And… everywhere else, for that matter.

xoxo…

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LOST Season 6 Premieres Tonight- Duh.

February 2, 2010

We're all very confused.

Unless you have been stranded on a mystical, time-hopping island in the middle of the South Pacific, you probably know that “Lost” is on tonight. And if you’re on the East Coast, you’re probably watching it right now.

Truth be told, I have never seen an episode of “Lost” before. But I’m going to my friend’s “Lost” party tonight (free pizza and Dharma beer– he made really pro labels!) and didn’t want to be the stupidest noob around, so I watched a few online recaps (here’s that big-Italian-family one) and dove into the Lost Wiki. Did you know that The Others have a book club? That’s pretty hilarious. Maybe I’ll have to go back and watch this show, after all.

And I’ve been told that I’m not allowed to talk while the episode is airing. Or I’ll get voted off the island. (Wrong show? Wrong show.)

xoxo…

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Ketchup/Catch Up: PARTY DOWN

July 29, 2009
The odd couple.

The odd couple.

I started watching “Party Down” because one of my friends who has Starz and shares my love of all things Paul Rudd-related (see the RANDOM COOL FACT) said, “You have to watch this show.” (So far in the Ketchup/Catch Up posts, Paul Rudd is 2-2. Is he a part of everything cool?) (Let’s get Paul Rudd on “30 Rock!”)

Also, I started watching because Ken Marino is in it. I am not a hardcore Ken Marino fan (nor have I seen him in anything hardcore, lest you confuse my meaning… on second thought, see #3), but I did see THE TEN (“It’s just a goof!”) and I watched the second season of “Reaper” just to see the Ken Marino/Michael Ian Black cameos. So… I guess you could say I’m regular-core Ken Marino fan. (I haven’t seen any of “The State” series yet… forgive me. Maybe it will be a future Aftertaste.)

But you’re not here to talk about “The State.” You’re here for the party: “Party Down.” Season one has aired and season two is in the pipeline (as far as I know). There are 10 episodes in season one and it’s a half-hour comedy, so you’ll be caught up in no time! (My ulterior motive in creating this site is that I want people to talk about these shows with me! Or at least quote the hilarious lines with me.)

PREMISE: Several out-of-work actors waiting for fame and fortune work as cater-waiters at various parties, under the supervision of recovering addict (maybe he was an actor, too? I can’t recall) Ron (Ken Marino), whose dream in life is to open a Souper Crackers franchise (think Souplantation). In the pilot, Ron’s old co-worker Henry (Adam Scott) quits acting and returns to the Party Down catering company as a bartender. (He garnered fame as the spokesperson for a popular beer ad, but it ruined his acting career.)

Other employees include snide/nerdy wannabe screenwriter Roman (Martin Starr), aspiring comic actress Casey (Lizzy Caplan), dude-bro actor Kyle (Ryan Hansen), and oddball “seasoned” actress Constance (Jane Lynch). Each episode takes place during one of the parties they cater.

7 REASONS TO WATCH

1) If you have ever been an aspiring writer/director/actor in Hollywood, and/or worked in catering, and/or had a strange or somewhat incompetent boss, you will enjoy this show. (All of the above are yeses for me.)

2) The cast is fantastic. Come on, anything with Jane Lynch is a must-see. Not to mention the cameos: Jennifer Coolidge, Ken Jeong (yeah, the guy who popped out of the trunk in THE HANGOVER), Kristen Bell (tons of people from “Veronica Mars” are on it, since Rob Thomas created both series), Steven Weber, Marilu Henner, Rick Fox, Ed Begley, Jr… the list goes on and on.

3) The hijinx. In the episode where they cater a Conservative College Caucus (ha), an attempt to pass off a script leads to an accidental flag-burning. Ron is tapped to try out for a porno AT at porn industry party, and has probably the most awkward audition in history. I could tell you more, but then I’d spoil everything for you.

4) “Are we having fun yet?” It’s the beer commercial catchphrase that tortures Henry, and people always bring it up at the most soul-crushing moments (with the exception of the mafia party, where it gets him out of a pinch). I try to use it to tap the irony of the show all of the time, but people think I’m just being a gung-ho grandparent about things.

5) Jane Lynch’s “never give up” story. I could preface it with some sparkling words, but it’s really better if you watch it. (That is true of THE WHOLE SHOW.) Come to think of it, everything Constance says is hilarious.

6) The parties (they’re also the episode titles). A sampling: Pepper McMasters Singles Seminar. Sin Say Shun Awards After Party. Taylor Stiltskin Sweet Sixteen (her dad is a bastard producer and her cool friends don’t show, amongst other disasters). Celebrate Ricky Sargulesh (he’s the mafia guy). James Rolf High School Twentieth Reunion (turns out that it’s RON’S reunion, and he desperately wants to prove that his life is on track).

7) Ron’s freak-outs. He tries to hold it together, but sometimes he falls off the wagon (or worse). At one point Henry pulls Ron out of the dumps by giving him this deep spiritual mantra: “Don’t stop believing.” (That’s right. Journey.)

RANDOM COOL FACT: Paul Rudd is one of the writer/producers. (And Fred Savage is a director/producer.)

ALL RIGHT, I don’t know if I did enough to sell this show, but I implore you to check it out. “Are we having fun yet?” No, because you haven’t watched “Party Down” yet.

xoxo…

Twitter me (it feels so good) @dailybinge / Prefer Facebook? Become a fan of The Daily Binge

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Ketchup/Catch Up: DELOCATED

July 22, 2009
Who can resist this face?

Who can resist this face?

The Ketchup/Catch Up feature is so named because when I was in preschool my teacher declared one day a “Catch Up Day,” and I got really hyped because I thought it was a “Ketchup Day.” Looking back… did we really need a day to catch up on all of our work? It was PRESCHOOL, for goodness sakes.

This feature is going to highlight shows that you might not have heard about, but should really catch up on in the off-season. I often hear about a show, think, “That could be okay, I’ll look it up on the Internets.” Five hours later, I finally come up for air, having watched THE WHOLE SEASON (these are generally half-hour comedies). I think it’s safe to say that the next Ketchup/Catch Up is going to feature “Party Down,” if only so that I can say “Are we having fun yet?!” and get a few chuckles of approval. I might also have to do “United States of Tara,” unless people are watching that. People, are you watching it yet?

Okay, “Delocated.” I first heard about it when I listened to a radio interview with Eugene Mirman (Lest I lose my Interwebs street cred by talking about an interview on the radio– what’s a radio?– I was listening to it ONLINE, and I found out about it through his TWITTER. I’m hip.) I am a big fan of the Mirman, so I had to check it out.

Now, I have to warn you: My friends have had very mixed reactions to this show, and I can see how it might be one of those shows that some people just don’t “get.” Most of my friends laughed at the clips I forced them to watch, but one said, “That show made me not want to watch TV ever again… I’ve never seen something so horrible.” (Another replied, re: the first guy’s comment, “It’s hilarious. That guy is an idiot.”) So… if you check it out, let me know what you think.

PREMISE: A family in the Witness Protection Program is moved from some remote suburb to NYC to star in a reality show, clad in ski masks and using vocal distortion boxes. The dad, Jon (Jon Glaser), expects to be set up in a “sweet loft,” but things don’t really work out as he’d hoped. His wife, Susan (Nadia Dajani), and son, David (Jacob Kogan), are not as enthused about putting their lives on the line for the sake of reality TV stardom.  On top of that, Jon is pursued by a Russian assassin/aspiring stand-up comedian named Yvgeny Mirminsky (Eugene Mirman), who at one point accidentally (SPOILER ALERT) kills Paul Rudd.

7 REASONS TO WATCH:

1) It’s a hilarious self-conscious commentary on reality TV media whoredom, and the TV networks that air such shows. (Example: The network gives Yvgeny a reality show about trying to kill Jon, which airs as a lead-in to Jon’s show.)

2) The episodes in season 1 are 15 minutes each, and there are only 6 of them. You can literally watch them during your lunch breaks for a week, and you’re all caught up for season 2 (in which the episodes will expand to 30 minutes each, or so I’ve heard).

3) David has a Ska Mitzvah. Yes, a ska-themed Bar Mitzvah. And the ska/Jew puns keep going and going…

4) Paul Rudd’s (SPOILER ALERT) death scene in the pilot. As he lies there dying, a distraught Jon yells out all of the movies that Paul Rudd has ever appeared in. You just have to see it. Trust me.

5) Jon opens up a business called The Rage Cage, where people pay to smash old computers (and other junk) with a baseball bat. Don’t you wish you thought of that?

6) Eugene Mirman as Yvgeny Mirminsky. Most of the time, he’s speaking Russian with subtitles. I love it when people on TV speak other languages with subtitles. (Last week on True Blood, you guys. I really need to write that recap. Major slackage going on over here.)

7) “Honorary Black Man.” It’s just a great episode, in too many ways to elaborate. I tend to get kind of deep about meanings (my mom once said, “Don’t try to make sense of song lyrics– once some kids listened too closely to Ozzy Osbourne’s lyrics and they KILLED THEMSELVES!”), and there is so much in this 15 minute episode that I could write a thesis… actually two, one for the TV movie story and one for the golf tournament story. “This one’s for Thurgood Marshall!”

RANDOM COOL FACT: Jacob Kogan also played Young Spock in the recent STAR TREK movie.

Happy watching! Enjoy your ketchup! (I have a shirt that says, “I put ketchup on my ketchup.” The shirt was a gift, and I treasure it.)

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