Snack Trek: SWEET TEA (McDonald’s)

September 2, 2010

Bad life choices.

The following is a real chat transcript, from 11:39pm last night–

Me: I AM HIGH ON SWEET TEA. THIS IS SO BAD/SO GOOD.

Friend: knowing you, that’s not a metaphor

Me: no, there are pictures to prove that i just drank a mega-ton of it. SO STUPID.

How did this happen? Let’s back up an hour or two…

Last night Bea (my Tall Texan Twin) and I dined at Tender Greens. We ate all manner of goodness, including a big lemon cupcake, which was apparently very sugary. (I thought it was buttery? Maybe both?) (Of course I have pictures– I’ll post them sooner or later.) So I was already laden with sugar. Keep that in mind.

Somehow our discussion turned to sweet tea, and the fact that I’ve never tried it but have always wanted to try it. There’s a McDonald’s on every corner (and one right across Vine from this Tender Greens) (haha, Vine… Greens), so we sprang into sweet tea-acquiring action.

I don’t know how many ounces that container holds? 32? 64? A hundred million? All for $1.10. Not bad. (VERY BAD.)

When I think of sweet tea, I think of an interview I once read with Reese Witherspoon, about how she’s a Southern gal and loves to make sweet tea in big jars. (Maybe I’m misremembering. Sorry if this is slander, Reese.) But McDonald’s does not want me to picture Southern belles and dainty acts of hospitality (dirty!) when I think of sweet tea…

This ain't yo mama's tea!

“This is no dainty, garden party tea…?” Excuse me? Are they marketing this tea to macho men? (The macho-est thing about this sweet tea is the AMOUNT. That cup is the size of a linebacker.) That little blurb does not compute to me at all, because I want to revel in the Reese Witherspoon-y-ness of sweet tea.

But I love that lemon graphic. Nice work. I’m lovin’ it.

Sweet tea looks like Coke, in pictures.

Too much tea! Shut it down!

I asked Bea what exactly is IN this stuff that makes it so crackishly addictive, and she said that she thinks it’s just iced tea with massive amounts of sugar. (It didn’t taste THAT sweet to me, which makes me question my taste buds.) Reese Witherspoon indicated that there were spices involved! Bea conceded that there might be some cinnamon? Oh man, cinnamon is just busting out all over in my life right now.

Have you noticed that there’s a chaste version of spin the bottle on the table? (I like the happy little cancer heart with the bandaged face.) It’s weird, and also oddly NOT chaste. I’m not sure what the Ronald McDonald House people had in mind, but my version of a “giggle giver” might get me arrested for public indecency.

I didn’t plan on drinking much of this tea, or at least I planned on splitting it evenly with Bea. But I don’t think that happened. I think I consumed the majority of the tea. (I gave in to the power of the tea, a la ZOOLANDER.) (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, drop everything, turn left, and see ZOOLANDER.) I got totally sugar-high on sweet tea. Like, redonk.

The last photo before the sugar really kicked in.

I DID finish it down to the bottom, but that was too shameful to merit a picture.

Fun fact: McDonald’s at 10pm-ish in LA is full of creepy homeless people and farting tourists who speak a language I have NEVER HEARD IN MY LIFE. (And refer to the women of their group as “Lady,” in a sneering, derogatory way.) So… I’m glad we survived. (Hmm, maybe the “this is no dainty garden party” of it all is aimed at THOSE guys…)

Next time we’re going to try Chick Fil A’s sweet tea, which is apparently at least equally delicious– if not more. (Bea’s enthusiasm about the whole thing is infectious… and she’s very excited to introduce me to the special sauce.) (I can’t remember what it’s called. I was distracted by GIANT TEA.)

I woke up sweet tea high and had a sweet tea hangover (and was probably sweating sugar-water at the gym this morning), but I guess that’s par for the course.

Reese Witherspoon knows what I’m talking about!

xoxo…

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Famous Last Words

August 31, 2010

Not again.

So the trucks that come to our office’s parking lot are listed in a Google calendar. I check it every day at lunch. Yesterday I realized that the truckage is going to continue into next month. And the Dim Sum Truck will be back! YES!

I’ve tried almost every truck I’ve WANTED to try, with one exception: The Coolhaus Truck. Delicious ice cream/cookie sandwiches inspired by architecture? Yes yes yes. Lauren and I were discussing our desire to seek out the Coolhaus truck when she was here last Sunday. (She was an architecture major, so she GETS IT.) It’s the unicorn of food trucks.

Anyway, yesterday I glanced at the updated calendar and saw that Coolhaus is coming here. TODAY. As co-worker Bryan and I were celebrating, I joked, “Nothing will stop me from getting Coolhaus! If I am over the toilet with food poisoning, I will halt my barfing to go to the truck.”

Well, guess who has a sad, burbling stomach today? (I think it’s because post-gym this morning, I drank out of a week-old water bottle that’s been sitting in my car.) (In my defense: I do it all the time…?)

Moral of the story: NEVER JOKE ABOUT ANYTHING.

But I think I’m starting to feel better. I WILL RALLY FOR COOLHAUS. (I will try.) (And I hope it’s better than Diddy Riese.)

Wish Lauren were here.

xoxo…

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The Primetime Emmys Are Tonight!

August 29, 2010

Why didn't anybody tell us about this?

Another year, another Emmys telecast. Spoiler alert: I’m not going to win anything!

When I was in college I worked as a cater-waiter at the post-Emmys ball one year, two weekends in a row. (Kathy Griffin refers to that first weekend– the Creative Arts Emmys– as the “Shmemmys.”) It was a total “Party Down” experience.

I waited on a table of winning cinematographers on the Creative Arts weekend, and they let me hold one of their statues. (Emmys are heavy!) The Primetime weekend I waited on a random upstairs table, nowhere near then-host Conan O’Brien. I wasn’t even allowed to look downstairs. Sadness.

Come to think of it… I made more money per hour waiting those tables than I have at any job before or since. AND when my shift ended I was allowed to eat very fancy leftover cake, in the back kitchen. Wow. Time to examine my life choices.

Of COURSE my Emmys story is a food/cake story. That’s why this blog is about food and TV. The two are intertwined in my brain.

I wasn’t necessarily planning on watching tonight’s Emmys (isn’t “Mad Men” on?), but it sounds like there are a bunch of fun bits planned. AND I’ve been invited to watch them in a setting that involves TV-friends, food, and more birthday kudos. (Apparently I’m going to be milking this 24th birthday until I’m 30.)

So… count me in! And in case you couldn’t tell from the accompanying photo, I’m on team “Modern Family.” (Sorry “30 Rock,” but you’ve already won so many times!)

xoxo…

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Sneak Peek: My Birthday Surprise

August 29, 2010

Surrender, macarons! (Or... surrender TO them?)

Yesterday was my big birthday surprise event, masterminded by Lauren. It turned out to be a picnic at the Getty Villa! With all my favorite snacks. Amazing amazing amazing.

Plus, Lauren and Cole indulged me as I did some food styling/photo-taking. I couldn’t resist! (Adorable name/heart pillow was hand-crafted by Lauren, but of course!) (Ditto re: the flag.)

I am sifting through so many great pictures (and trying to choose between the camera-camera pics and the phone-camera pics), but I thought I’d give you a sneak peek and let you know that more delicious pics are on the way.

xoxo…

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Happy Birthday to Me!

August 20, 2010

Let there be cake!

It’s my birthday today, but my family celebrated last weekend. My grandpa and I always have a combined thing, hence the “Nat.” He was turning 86, and I was BORN in ’86. CRAZY!

So… here are some pictures of the traditional Baskin Robbins mint chocolate chip ice cream cake! Cake porn!

But first– can you tell that my family reads the blog?

Do you think they know that I like cake?

Here’s the cake, outside and en fuego.

Action shot!

In the background you can see our Villeroy & Boch mugs. Those are… probably at least as old as I am, unless they’ve chipped and been replaced. If my life were a biopic there would totally be a scene where I’m an old old lady and see a Villeroy & Boch dining set with that pattern and it totally symbolizes my family, but only the audience knows because they SAW my family using them in a touching childhood scene.

I kinda believe that those rustic scenes are paintings of what my family was doing pre-America.

You can also see our fake sugar. Whichever fake sugar is in vogue is the one we’re using. Right now we’re on Truvia and Sun Crystals. For years and years it was Splenda.

And now for maybe my favorite piece-of-cake picture ever.

The middle of my name is "lys"... LIES!

I love those colors, and I love the plumeria blossoms. My dad picked those from our tree… I didn’t know we had a plumeria tree! (That’s what happens when you move away.)

Not sure if there’s any cake in store for me today, but I already had this and my BAGEL and I’m going to be having some delightful baked goods (including something PUMPKIN!) at a (town)housewarming tomorrow, so I am a HAPPY CAMPER!

Also a few birthday miracles happened to me this morning:

-I did one of those full back bend things at the gym, which I have never been strong enough to do in yoga class. I lifted my head off the floor and everything! I collapsed out of it and just started laughing with glee. Then I tried to do it again, and could not. It was a one-time thing, maybe. (And now my wrist feels tweaked.)

Like so, but probably a little less extended... and a lot less graceful.

(It’s called the wheel… thanks, Internets.) (And not to get all “Mad Men” season 1, but that’s appropriate for a birthday… a wheel… the circle of my year is complete. Or something.)

-Walking out of the gym, I saw a cockatiel in a cage, at this auto tune-up place. I’ve never noticed the bird before, and it looked exactly like Sweetie, my pet who flew away a million years ago. I said, “Pretty bird” to the cockatiel, and it said “pretty bird!” Which is exactly what Sweetie used to do!

-”Jump Around” played on the radio on my way home from the gym. Not really a miracle, but for some reason I was really excited about it. It’s nice to hear different songs every once in a while.

-When I woke up I weighed myself and was pretty bummed by the number. When I got back from the gym I weighed myself again, and I was THREE POUNDS less. I mean, whatever, weight is arbitrary and dumb. But it’s a nice little birthday miracle! Now I can eat more cake and feel slightly less anxious about it!

In the near future I will have to get some cake/cupcakes and take it/them home with me for a little photo shoot, because I am now the proud owner of THIS:

Thanks, Mom!

This has been a very good year, and I can only hope that the next one is equally full of goodness. Thanks to everybody (and all the food and TV!) who helped make this year so memorable!

And maybe on August 20, 2011, I will do TWO consecutive back bends! (Or TELL you that I did! You’ll never know the difference!)

xoxo…

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Snack of the Afternoon, 8/18/10: NECTARINE

August 18, 2010

Simple.

I don’t really have anything to say about this nectarine. I found it in the fridge. It was a nice, ripe, cold nectarine. I sliced it because I like sliced fruit, and then I thought it looked pretty. So I’m blogging it to share the joy of a nice piece of fruit.

This brings to mind one of my favorite poems. I paraphrase it often, but here’s the real deal…

This is just to say

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast.

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold.

-William Carlos Williams

My descriptive vocabulary when it comes to food is equally… simple. “Delicious” is probably my main descriptor… which maybe dulls the word?

I don’t think this nectarine belonged to anybody else. In fact, I think it was the only one in the bag that hadn’t turned. But in case it was: Oops! Forgive me, it was delicious.

xoxo…

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Lasagna Cupcakes Exist

August 18, 2010

What the WHAT?

I just found out about these via Twitter, and thought you all should know.

These are the brainchild of Heirloom LA. They are caterers.

Now you know who to call for your next event. (Now I know what I’m serving at my wedding… and my kids’ bar and bat mitzvahs… and my funeral.) (Just kidding… I haven’t tasted them yet.) (Just kidding x 2… I’m too cheap to have FOOD at those events.)

Oh, the random finds you will find when you browse this big web of ours.

Lasagna cupcakes are apparently available at The Oaks Gourmet grocery, which is about 200 feet away from the Upright Citizens Brigade theater. Maybe I’ll stop in and scope them out, next time I’m over there.

They’re also available at the new Intelligentsia in Pasadena… I also didn’t know that THAT existed. (My mind is blown.)

(I write “lasagna” because that’s how Heirloom spells it, but I learned it “lasagne.” Spell check is telling me that I’m wrong. But I think it goes both ways…)

Sometimes I lose faith in the world, but this morning I GAINED a little faith.

xoxo…

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TGIF: Bagels, Lox, and a Random Act of 30 ROCK

July 30, 2010

The weekend is coming! The weekend is coming!

I am having one of those months where my weekends are crazier than my weekdays. This weekend is going to include whale watching, ice cream cake, and a visit to a psychic. You know… normal things. But… who needs to relax? I’ll relax when I die… of exhaustion, because I never relaxed.

Or of a cake overdose, because even as I write this, I am being offered cake. I think I might need to whip up a separate blog post, because… wow. You’ll see. I think I should send the universe a telegram: Enough with the cake! (Although… I’m still down for ice cream cake this weekend. And birthday cake, in a month… oh God.)

Anyway, random “30 Rock” moment. So, I found this mug in our kitchen mug collection. I don’t know if it’s from the building or someone in my office. I don’t know if it’s something that was given to “30 Rock” employees, or if it came from the NBC gift shop. but it kind of made my morning when I came across it, because Liz Lemon is my doppelganger.

THIS moi!

I feel as though this mug is my friend now. Like, if I am having a bad day, I am going to visit it. And if it shatters… I will throw it a mug funeral. Because I tend to anthropomorphize inanimate objects… and ALSO I tend to shatter ceramic dishware. UH OH.

And because it’s Friday and Friday is bagel day at the office and good bagels are the double rainbow of my life, here is a picture of my breakfast. You will probably only be jealous if you like lox and tomatoes and don’t live in NYC, because people in NYC are bagel snobs. But I’m from LA, and I am an LA version of a bagel snob, and I give Noah’s my stamp of approval.

The tomatoes are camera hogs.

And THEN we ordered lunch, and with lunch came a cake-y monstrosity that I am going to blog about NEXT, and it’s going to be part of this red velvet identity crisis post that I’ve been teasing for so long that it’s not going to live up to any of your expectant expectations. (As if you were really holding your breath.)

And for the record, I haven’t cried once today.

xoxo…

THIS moi!

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Happy Bloggiversary to Me

July 26, 2010

They grow up so fast.

I am such a guy right now. I tried and tried to remember to do a post on July 21st to commemorate the one-year anniversary of The Daily Binge, but then… I forgot.

But hey… not too shabby, to keep a blog running for a year. Obviously the deluge of posts has ebbed considerably, but at least it’s a somewhat steady trickle.

Wow, sorry. Attack of the vocabulary words.

Anyway, go eat some cake and think of me. Or send me some cake. Some ice cream cake. Teleport it. (Yeah, I still haven’t invented a food teleportation device… obviously an unproductive year.)

xoxo…

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Happy 4th of July!

July 4, 2010

Happy 4th of July! Does anybody else remember making those Cool Whip/blueberry/strawberry American flag cakes? (The past few days I have been eating a similarly patriotic breakfast: Greek yogurt/blueberries/strawberries… it’s a 1:2 ratio of yogurt: fruit, because I still can’t exactly get past the taste of the yogurt.)

Well, I was at the Farmer’s Market at the Grove yesterday and saw a more labor-intensive patriotic cake:

Let them eat cake! (Wrong revolution?)

Looks a little too rich for my blood. But I DID eat some pita (among other things… some days I really do embark upon a daily binge), so I guess my wheat/gluten-free days are behind me. It’s a slippery slope from pita to cake. And I’m likely going to several BBQs today… watch out, cakes of LA.

I will say, though, because this came up with a friend last night– To the calorie-counters, dieters, etc, of the world: Don’t let the calories rule your life. Don’t turn down parties or social activities because you don’t know if you’ll be able to resist the cake. There’s more to life than a diet, you know?

Try not to be so rigid about it that you can’t relax and enjoy yourself, or so fatalistic that any little perceived slip-up turns into a binge. Just take a taste–or not– and move on with the party. Keep your wits about you. Claim independence from those judge-y voices in your head.

I speak from experience.

xoxo…

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