The Results Are In…

February 3, 2012

Amber waves of grain.

Came home tonight to find my test results in the mail: Negative for Celiac disease.

So that’s that. For now. I can continue eating wheat without fear.

I guess not eating dairy has been working out fairly well. Maybe I’ll just stick to that for a while.

The letter also said that I should make a follow-up appointment, but it didn’t say when.

It’s 3:15am. That’s all I got.

Oh– and this: Some groundhogs saw their shadow yesterday, and others didn’t. That’s sorta what this whole thing feels like– are there six more weeks of bad stomach, or is it stomach spring? I need to consult a… stomach-hog.

Yeah… I need to go to sleep.


Do It Yourself: Blackberry Summer Pudding

August 18, 2011

Summer pudding, polar bear plate.

You guys– I have to admit, I’m addicted to NPR. I guess that’s what reaching my mid-20s is all about. Less driving around listening to Britney Spears, more driving around listening to world news and This American Life.

One of my favorite shows is The Splendid Table, hosted by Lynne Rossetto Kasper. (I’m guessing it’s the show that SNL made fun of when they did the Delicious Dish sketch.) One of my favorite parts is when people just call in and ask Lynne about what to cook.

It goes a little something like this:

Caller: Hi Lynne. I have a fig tree that’s just dropping figs all over my yard. What can I do with all these figs?

Lynne: Oh, what CAN’T you do? Have you tried halving them, brushing them with butter and honey, and putting them skin-down on the grill? And for a kick, you could sprinkle on some cayenne pepper… [etc for the next five minutes]

I was particularly intrigued when a British woman called and talked about her mother’s summer pudding. Her mother would gather blackberries, currants, etc, from the British countryside, add sugar, heat the berries, and stack it all into a white bread crust. But when the juices hit the bread… the women couldn’t even describe the flavor. “What was the flavor?!” I yelled at the radio. (Okay, maybe not.)

Of course, Lynne had tasted a summer pudding when she was in England. Lynne has tried it all! (And she often sounds vaguely orgasmic about whatever food she’s describing.) She recommended a Nigella Lawson recipe (the woman was looking for one with less sugar), but I couldn’t find that recipe online. I looked around for one that matched the woman’s description of her mother’s method and found this recipe– and incidentally, it only has one cup of sugar. Nice.

It may sound really weird, but I was SO EXCITED to make this recipe. I think I found it on a Monday or Tuesday and decided I’d wait until the weekend to make it, and I spent my whole week just DREAMING about what that white bread and juice crust might taste like. I was especially intrigued because I’ve never had ANYTHING like this. A lot of British things just never made it across the pond in a big way– for example, Spotted dick.

I mean, I guess when we won the Revolution we freed ourselves not only from oppressive British taxes, but also from funny-name desserts (and regular-name ones, too).

Also: Summer is passing. Certain things you have to do at least once each summer. Go swimming in a pool. Go to the beach. Eat summer-y foods. Go to a BBQ. I wanted to try a summer pudding while it’s still SUMMER.

So Friday night, Sam and I got down to work…

The leaning tower of ingredients.

The most expensive part is the blackberries, and I bought about 2 cartons more than I needed. (I thought each carton would be LESS than a cup, but it was slightly MORE than a cup. And one cup is just for garnish. But it’s MADE of blackberries, so the garnish isn’t super necessary.) You can also use Grand Marnier instead of orange juice, but… I didn’t really want to spend the money, for just 1/4 cup of it.

Sam and I never fight about matters of actual importance, but we did exchange a few tense words over the bread-laying-out technique. The recipe said not to leave any gaps, so I got kind of geometric about it– to make one perfect, smooth layer of bread. Sam thought we should just sort of layer the bread… because he noted that method in the picture on the recipe’s website.

The picture from the recipe's website.

So Sam was (probably) right, but he let me win. (Thanks, Sam.) Sam wanted the bread to go to the top of the bowl, which I didn’t think was necessary… but I let him win on that count and left him to finish the task while I rinsed the berries. (That’s the secret to easy fighting, probably. Let each other win.) (And apologize.) (We did.)

Bread bowl.

Website picture or not, I think our bowl o’ bread turned out snappy.

The next step was simmering the berries in sugar water. They didn’t really seem to cook all that much, but the lady on the radio said her mother just barely heated them. So I was okay with it.

Berry berry good.

The color leached a bit from some of the blackberries in the process. They went from black/purple to red. And they let off some juice, which we used a few steps later…

But first, we had to spoon the berries into the bowl of white bread.

Life is like a bowl of berries...

And then we mixed 3/4 cup blackberry/sugar juice with 1/4 cup orange juice. The concoction looked a bit sinister.

Blooooood.

Sam folded down the excess of the bread-bowl wall into a bread-top, and then I spooned the juice over the bread.

Looks weird, but I'm trusting the recipe.

It didn’t LOOK super appetizing, but it smelled nice and sweet. I dipped some of the excess bread into some juice, to see if I could taste that indescribable crust flavor… not yet. It needed time to congeal (or whatever… sit).

Yum?

You may have noticed the plastic wrap lining. We covered the top in plastic wrap, then weighted the pudding down with some plates and a can of soup. Then we put the pudding in the fridge, to sit overnight.

Bedtime for the pudding!

The next day I had a wine and cheese party, just as an excuse to debut the pudding (and have other people around to eat it). Luckily my sister was there and kept pestering me to invert the pudding already, because I’m a lightweight and once I was a bit tipsy I almost forgot the pudding entirely. After all that.

The plate that was pressed up against the pudding. Looks very tie-dye.

I must admit, I was underwhelmed by the pudding’s initial appearance… it looked like The Blob.

Braaaiiinsss!

But once Sam cut into it, it looked much more appetizing.

Flying off the serving plate!

You can see that the color varies a bit based on lighting. As directed, we served it with whipped cream, garnished with blackberries. The recipe said it serves 6, but we served it to 8 people just fine.

I guess I forgot my garnish (tipsy).

You know what? It really was good. I think the sweetness vs. tartness will depend on the blackberries you use, but this one seemed to reach some nice in-between place. And the bread tasted like… it was saturated with sweet berry juice.

Overall, this was a very successful experiment. I will have to have it again when I’m less tipsy. (Whoops.) (Live and learn.) (Although I should say “mission accomplished,” because the party was also an excuse to get rid of some wine and use my new Amish cheese board… all goals were accomplished.) (I’ll try to blog that other stuff soon.)

I just love the idea of these country British people using what they had around the kitchen and their yards– bread, berries, sugar– to whip up something simple and delicious. And I loved trying a dish that I’ve never seen/heard of around these parts! (I’m kind of confused about whether country British people would have an ice box/fridge back in the day, but I guess they didn’t HAVE to let it sit in a fridge overnight.)

So yeah– I hope this inspires you to make a summer food, try some foreign delight, or at least listen to The Splendid Table. (Seriously, you should– then I’ll have somebody to talk with about it!)

xoxo…

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Do It Yourself: Foolproof Turkey Meatballs

April 1, 2011

They taste better than they look in this picture.

Happy April Fools’ Day, everybody!

This is not one of my favorite holidays, because… let’s face it, nobody likes to get fooled. (I don’t get fooled so much as I hate calling bullshit on people, because I try to be tactful.) (Unless we’re good friends. Then I’m calling your bullshit all over the place.)

Don’t get me wrong. Obvious April Fools jokes are funny. Like, Serious Eats just announced that they are launching three new sites: Serious Teats, Serious Wheats & Serious Beets. Obvious joke. Very cute. (Unless it’s not a joke. Then it’s very strange.)

But the rise of Facebook has made April Fools’ Day super-awkward, because we all have those oversharing friends who announce really good/bad news via Facebook. Whether or not you got engaged/divorced/diagnosed with herpes THIS MORNING, April Fools’ Day is just a bad day to announce things. The friends who bite look stupid for making sympathetic comments, and the friends who call bullshit look like jerks if it’s real.

And it’s just bad karma to pretend that something terrible happened to you.

In case you need it.

ANYWAY, here is the meatball recipe as promised. This is one of the few foods I have been in the practice of cooking on a regular-ish basis, and they are SO simple. I got the recipe from my mom. She got it from a sage at the top of Mt. Everest. (APRIL FOOLS!) (I don’t know where she got it.)

This is what you need:

-1 package of Jennie-O Lean Ground Turkey (that’s what I use… any ground turkey will do)

-1 cap-full of Kretschmer Wheat Germ (the most versatile stuff on Earth… also tastes great in yogurt)

-1 egg (my mom has since dropped the egg, but I still use it) (dropped from the recipe, not on the floor)

-2 tablespoons ketchup (I think I tend to use more than that, because I eyeball it)

I mix it all together with my hands. Meanwhile, I’ve got a big pan at the ready, spritzed with canola oil non-stick spray. (Turn on the heat right before you dive your hands into the meat.) (Awesome.)

Make smallish sized meatballs (it’s turkey, you want it to cook all the way through) and toss them onto the pan, going quickly. Ideally you finish making all the meatballs and rinse your hands quickly. Then grab the spatula and flip away. If you were fast enough, the first meatballs you put down won’t have burned.

Keep cooking them until they’re browned and look ready to eat– 5 or 10 minutes. If your meatballs are big, split a few in half to make sure they’re not pink on the inside. They tend to kinda fall apart, but don’t worry. The crumbly parts are good. And if you store them in the fridge, they’ll congeal a bit more.

I also like to steam some cauliflower. I’ve probably mentioned it before: cauliflower + sauce + meatballs = SO GOOD. I buy the steam-in-bag variety at the store and zap it in the microwave at the beginning of the festivities. Usually I kinda forgot to free the cauliflower from the microwave. By the time I open the steamer bag, the cauliflower has gotten nice and soft– ready for mushing into the meat. (Awesome.)

Okay, now you have all the tools to make a semi-gourmet romantic dinner. Because nothing says “I love you” like some crumbly meatballs.

But PLEASE PLEASE– if you invite a guy over tonight, don’t be April Fools-ing him. That’s just cruel.

oxox…

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Snack Trek: In-N-Out Burger’s “Super Secret” Menu

March 13, 2011

Two patties, four cheeses? Root beer float? Can do.

Like most Californians, I’m familiar with In-N-Out’s most popular “secret” (or– as they put it– not-so-secret) menu items. I typically order my hamburger “protein style” (wrapped in lettuce), and Cole orders his shakes Neopolitan style (chocolate, vanilla & strawberry combined) so often that I didn’t even realize it was a “secret” item.

So I thought I knew it all.

Then Serious Eats posted its “Ultimate In-N-Out Secret Menu (and Super Secret Menu!) Survival Guide,” and– it was like that moment when Adam & Eve (and/or The Emperor?) realize they’re not wearing any clothes. What? Whoa!

Mr. Tea and I perused the “super secret” menu and I actually WROTE DOWN what we wanted to order, so we wouldn’t go blank at the register. (And– just like college– I didn’t actually study my notes until 10 seconds before we ordered.)

Thanks to my hectic work schedule as of late, we had to reschedule our mission several times. And on the night we finally did this (Thursday last), I was sick (again). (But not can’t-taste sick. Just generally miserable sick.) But I wouldn’t let a little blech in my throat deter me.

I stepped up to the register and began to order, and at first the guy behind the counter looked a bit confused. (Note: It’s not called mustard grilled– it’s mustard FRIED.) But he soon caught on that we were ordering heavily modified burgers, and the only hitch in our order was that Mr. Tea received a whole slice of regular onion instead of a whole slice of grilled onion.

Obviously this stuff isn’t TOO secret, because it’s preset in the computers. And I was happy to see that we apparently weren’t charged more than the usual burger prices. THAT was cool.

Can you crack the code?

In case you can’t read In-N-Out-ese…

Mr Tea ordered: A 2×4 (A Double Double with 2 extra pieces of cheese), medium rare, with a root beer float (vanilla shake & root beer). And the failed whole grilled onion. So… just regular onion. (And without tomato, because he believes that only amazing tomatoes deserve his love? But how can you KNOW a tomato is or is not going to be amazing if you don’t try it?) (That is not a metaphor for anything.) (IS it?)

I ordered: A #3 (hamburger, fries, drink– but I subbed in a root beer float). I got the hamburger mustard fried (cooked in mustard, comes with pickles), with chopped grilled onions. And I got it cut in half, because I have some weird type of OCD where my sandwiches must be cut in half (in triangles, if possible). (I think “split in half” was the most exciting part, for me.) (Tied with the fries…)

I got my french fries “light,” which means they fry them for less time– and they’re mushier for it. (I generally prefer mushy fries… it’s a very devisive issue.) (I also drown my fries in ketchup… to Mr. Tea’s amusement.)

Dinner is served.

Isn’t it cute that they wrap each half individually?

(I also have a version of that picture where Mr. Tea is looking very alarmed because the Sherman Oaks In-N-Out is frequented by eccentric homeless patrons.)

When I bit into my burger, my first thought was– McDonald’s. With the addition of chopped grilled onions and pickles– and more of a mustard flavor– you can see how that would be the case. The next day when I uploaded my pictures to Flickr, I realized another reason why the burger tasted less In-N-Out-y: It appears that when they mustard fry a burger, they leave off their signature secret sauce (aka “spread”)(aka Thousand Island dressing, more or less).

There's the beef-- where's the sauce?

Not that McDonald’s is a bad thing. I actually like to eat their burgers– but I take off one side of the bun, because the bread tends to overpower the meat and isn’t that great. And it’s cheap. But… when I come to In-N-Out, I come for the In-N-Out. You know?

And Mr. Tea thought his modified burger tasted more like Carney’s than a regular Double Double would.

In conclusion– I think the “super secret” menu remains unlisted at In-N-Out because what’s ON the menu (& the not-so-secret menu) is their ideal, time-tested burger. If I can get my protein style split in half, I will be a happy woman. And I will go to McDonald’s or Carney’s if I want a burger in that style, because they’re cheaper AND they don’t potentially support freaky right-wing causes.

I WILL keep ordering the “light” fries (on the occasions when I remember they exist). Sounds healthy, right? I can fool myself into believing that. (But I’ll trade the root beer float back in for lemonade… it kinda gave me a stomachache, and I had to add more root beer because the ratio of shake-to-root beer was wonky.)

Overall, I’m glad I tried the super secret menu. But if you’re an out-of-towner and you only get one shot… just order off the good old fashioned menu.

Until next time…

xoxo

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I Made It!

December 27, 2010

Surprise! I’m in Philly, AND I can write posts from my phone. But I don’t know how to do pictures. Picture-free post.

I’m still on the plane. Apparently this was the only Southwest flight from Chicago to Philly that got through today? Or so I was told as I boarded.

I’m exhausted, excited, incredulous… am I sitting on a plane, or a rollercoaster of emotions??

Now that I’m here… SHOW ME THE CHEESESTEAKS!

This is probably the last you’ll hear from me for a few days. Curb your crying.

Or freeze your tears into a snowball.

xoxo…


Back in the Game

December 27, 2010

I'm on my way! (I hope!)

Last night when I drifted off to sleep on the couch, I was pretty sure that my trip was fucked.

At 2:30am EST, my awesome Philadelphia hosts called me. They were trolling the Southwest website, and it appeared that a flight out of LAX had opened up. The last flight today.

And now I’ve got the boarding pass in my hand. And the first flight of the day took off, so it appears that the flights are happening.

So if all goes well, I’ll be waking up in Philly tomorrow morning.

But I still think I’m going to refer to this trip as Folly-delphia 2010. :)

xoxo…


Sad News

December 26, 2010

Probably a snowball made of travel-related tears.

My new flight to Philadelphia got canceled today AS IT WAS LOADING. (As did all of the other flights to Philadelphia for the WHOLE DAY… and maybe tomorrow.) The people going to first-stop Denver got on the plane and went to Denver. I did not get to go anywhere. And I might not get to go anywhere tomorrow, either.

Well, I did get to ride back to my parking lot, in a shuttle that smelled like maximum farts.

I cried a little (because of the flight, not the farts), but not 1000 tears. I’ll wait to see what happens tomorrow before I put that kind of effort into it.

But yeah, I’m missing my first snowfall. And it’s making me miss EVERYTHING. And everyBODY.

Just keeping you posted. Even though you’re probably like, “Leave us alone, depressing blog-person. Blog about delightful foodstuffs or SHUT UP.”

I did eat a bagel at the airport, but it didn’t even come with Philadelphia cream cheese. They gave me Neufchatel. Seriously, no Philly happening for me right now. Zero percent.

On the plus side, I’m not flying into a (supposedly) deadly blizzard.

There’s always a silver lining.

xoxo…


Bad/Good News

December 25, 2010

What's white all over?

So… my flight got canceled. Yeah, already. Thanks to the threat of snow, I guess. And I stubbornly booked the very next flight out, because I do not want to have to make good on my threat to punch a snowball. It could be spiky.

If all goes well, I’ll get to Philly less than an hour later than I expected. And if this flight gets canceled… I’ll figure something else out.

Fingers crossed…

xoxosigh…


Winner Winner, Pears for Dinner!

December 13, 2010

I'm the Vanna White of pears.

Congrats to the winners of my Crave! At Work fruit giveaway!

In the local category, the winner is Melissa! She will be receiving the tote full of fruit. Hopefully she’ll invite all the local commenters to bake some banana bread with her. Or at least send us a picture of her cookings.

In the long distance category, the winner is lulacrazygirl! Lula will be receiving a handwritten letter. If she trusts me with her address. (Don’t worry… I’m far away.)

Completely randomly, Lula and Melissa happen to be the first and last commenters. Life is weird! But it WAS a random draw. Out of a glasses case, because I have no hat. Pink was distance, orange was local.

The "Guess" is appropriate.

I wish everybody could have won. Seriously. My heart hurts. Hopefully everybody who’s local to LA was inspired to cook something with fruit– and here’s what you can do! Go to the Hollywood Farmers’ Market this Sunday to buy some locally grown fruit, and while you’re there you can sign the petition to save the market! And maybe see Busy Philipps, because I always see her there.

And then you can go home and cook something delicious with a full and happy heart, because you helped a noble cause. And send me a picture of your cookings. Or a piece of it, if it’s something piece-able.

PS, I DID come up with a recipe (AND a snack) and I WILL post them soon. Things have just been crazy, and I’ve been throwing up these Snack Treks because they’re easier for me to whip up. (Don’t hate me, Crave!)

xoxo…

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Reminder: FREE FRUIT!

December 11, 2010

All this could be yours (tiny tree not included).

Happy weekend, everybody!

Don’t forget to enter the fruit giveaway! Courtesy of Crave! at Work.

You, too, could have a tiny pear to call your own.

My pretty.

I was going to post an at-work snack yesterday, but actual work took priority. SORRY.

But soon. Really.

xoxo…


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