SYTYCD: Melanie is My Season 8 Favorite

June 16, 2011

You Go, Girl.

I’m watching this weird “re-dance your solo” elimination thing on my TV, and it occurred to me that I haven’t mentioned “So You Think You Can Dance” on here for a while. From the first moment I saw Melanie’s audition solo, I was like, “SOLD!” She’s this little artsy nymph with CRAZY HEART (and moves).

Note to Jordan (female): I’m a little weirded out that your life’s goal is to be a Pussycat Doll. Do you understand what you’re saying? And your solo tonight was a stripper routine, complete with be-fringed boob-shaking.

Okay, nobody’s eliminated. Two couples will dance next week. Fine by me. Whatever. I’ll watch 20 couples every week. I’m not worried about ratings.

But I probably would have eliminated Jordan, because I’m a feminist or something.

I bet Melanie knows what I’m talking about! (Although her life’s goal– to be a guest on “Ellen”– is also kinda meh.) (I mean, I guess now that Oprah’s done, dreams have to be tailored appropriately.) (And maybe Jordan only wants to be a Pussycat Doll so she can meet Ellen. Who knows.)


Here I Am

May 28, 2011

Food words.

Okay, now I actually live in Los Feliz. The big move happened on Thursday. Yesterday I walked to the grocery store. And walked to dinner. Living the dream. (Good thing I’m walking, because I’ve been slacking in the gym-going department.)

Thanks to a no-satellite policy, I switched from DirecTV to AT&T U-Verse. For the first time, my TV is connected to the internet. Which means… On Demand! This morning I watched some crazy Ashwarya Rai/Dylan McDermott/Padma Lakshmi (right?!) movie via HBO On Demand, followed by the episode of “Sex and the City” where Harry finally proposes (it happened to be one of the 5 on there). And then my On Demand said it wasn’t available right now, which was probably for the best. (But also annoying.)

(Yesterday I didn’t have TV or internet for the first half of the day, and I found myself READING. Crazy. Between Jhumpa Lahiri and Ashwarya Rai, it has been a very Indian weekend so far.)

Um, anyway. The picture at the top is of my new refrigerator. I’ve had those cooking themed magnetic poetry words since junior year of college. At each apartment I put up the words and wait for people to rearrange them. Usually what I get is such literary masterpieces as “Smell my saucy bacon,” or, “Pickled wiener delight cream.” (I linked it to the really big size, so if you click the picture you can see all the words… give me some suggestions for sentences!)

Last night Sam and I walked to a very nearby Chinese restaurant, called The Palace. I didn’t take pictures, but it reminded me of those awesome kitschy-yet-earnest Chinese restaurants that I used to eat at when I was a kid. Chinese decorations, maitre d’ in a tuxedo– there was even a woman in traditional dress, playing a zither (or maybe not a zither… I don’t really know a lot about Chinese instruments).

I had sizzling rice soup–I haven’t had it in forever. I always thought that the rice was sizzling hot, but it actually sizzles because it’s fried. The more you know! I think the best part was the steamed chicken dumplings. One order was at least 6 dumplings (maybe 8?), and they were triangle-shaped! Like a three-cornered hat. And something about the spicing made them SO delicious. We also had chow mein and broccoli & beef, but I think the soup and dumplings were my favorite.

And I must mention our waiter, Nick. He told us that he was new and I could tell that he was nervous, but he was so attentive and good-natured– I wished that I was a fancy lady who could surprise him with a really big tip. Like, $100. But then I realized I’d probably have to keep that up or I’d seem like I was holding out. Big tippers must just pass through towns, giving $100 tips and disappearing, never to be seen again.

If I get the dumplings as take-out in the near future, I’ll grab a picture. They’re like dumpling hamentaschen!


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Fabio Knows Best

January 20, 2011


Last night was restaurant wars on “Top Chef All-Stars,” and once again Fabio was an amazing front-of-house man. He’s so charismatic! I was just informed that he has a restaurant in North Hollywood– Osteria Firenze. Much closer than Moorpark. Pack your knives– er, bags– Lauren, we’re going to NoHo!

I’m not even going to write about last night’s episode, because Lauren sent me FABIO’S RECAP. Get the scoop from the man himself! (He’s funny. Of course.)

Instead, I’m going to give you another bit of Fabio goodness. Just before the holidays, a PR rep sent me a list of easy holiday recipes from Fabio and Bertolli Olive Oil. So here they are. Better late than never! It’s always a holiday with Bertolli! (I just made that up… maybe I’m in the wrong field.) (I won’t quit my day job.)



by Chef Fabio Viviani

8 servings

Prep Time: 15 minutes

Cook Time: 15 minutes

16 baby red potatoes

1 cup Bertolli® Classico™ Olive Oil

1 cup chopped fresh rosemary

1 cup chopped fresh sage leaves

8 ounces ground cooked sausage*

8 ounces ricotta cheese

4 ounces Parmesan cheese

Preheat oven to 475º.

Boil potatoes for 5 minutes. Cut in half and carve a hole in the flesh to hold filling. In a bowl, toss potatoes with 1 cup Bertolli Classico Olive Oil and herbs. Mix sausage and ricotta. Season, if desired, with salt and freshly ground black pepper. Stuff mixture into potatoes. Bake for 6 minutes. Top with Parmesan.

NOTE: If you can’t find cooked sausage, heat 2 Tbsp. Bertolli Classico Olive Oil in a skillet over medium heat and cook raw sausage until no longer pink.


by Chef Fabio Viviani

4 servings

Prep time: 15 minutes

Cook time: 15 minutes

4 boneless loin lamb chops

8 very thin slices prosciutto (about 1/2 lb.)

12 sage leaves

1 Tbsp. Bertolli® Extra Light Tasting Olive Oil

5 ounces microgreens or baby salad greens

1/2 cup chopped walnuts

1/2 cup crumbled blue cheese

Preheat oven to 350°. Season chops, if desired, with salt and pepper.

Arrange 2 slices prosciutto on flat surface. Top with 3 sage, then wrap around 1 chop; repeat with remaining chops. Heat Bertolli® Extra Light Tasting Olive Oil in 12-inch skillet over medium-high heat and cook chops, turning once, 5 minutes or until prosciutto browns.

Arrange chops in 9-inch baking dish and bake 10 minutes or until chops are desired doneness.

Meanwhile, combine remaining ingredients in large serving bowl. Just before serving, drizzle with additional Olive Oil.


by Chef Fabio Viviani

12 servings

Prep Time: 10 minutes

Cook Time: 1 Hour, 10 minutes

4 eggs

1-3/4 cups sugar, divided

1/4 cup milk

2 cups all-purpose flour

2 tsp. baking powder

1-1/4 cups Bertolli® Extra Light Tasting Olive Oil, divided

2 containers (6 oz. ea.) fresh blueberries

Juice of 1 lemon (about 3 Tbsp.)

1 tsp. grated lemon peel

Preheat oven to 350°. Spray 13- x 9-inch baking pan with nonstick cooking spray; set aside.

Beat eggs with 1-1/4 cups sugar in medium bowl with electric mixer on medium-high speed until eggs are pale and thick, about 5 minutes. Slowly beat in milk. Slowly add flour blended with baking powder and mix just until blended. Add 1 cup Bertolli® Extra Light Tasting Olive Oil and beat just until blended. Turn into prepared pan.

Bake in center of oven 30 minutes or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool on wire rack 10 minutes; remove from pan and cool completely.

Meanwhile, for blueberry sauce, combine blueberries, remaining 1/2 cup sugar, remaining 1/4 cup Bertolli® Extra Light Tasting Olive Oil and lemon juice in 2-quart saucepan. Cook over medium heat, stirring occasionally, 5 minutes or until blueberries start to burst. Remove from heat; stir in lemon peel. Let cool to room temperature. Serve blueberry sauce with cake.

All recipes have been tested and are courtesy of Fabio Viviani, owner and Executive Chef of Firenze Osteria Italian Restaurant and Martini Bar.


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This is Top Chef, Not Top TURTLE

January 9, 2011

Tre makes hilarious faces.

Every once in a while I have to write about a TV show, or I won’t be able to say that this blog is about TV and snacks. It’ll just be about food, and there are a million (better) blogs about food. My very special niche is TV and snacks.

This week’s episode of “Top Chef All Stars” featured a Quickfire in which the chefs had to beat Tom Colicchio’s speed-cooking, and a dim sum Elimination. I love dim sum! And Dale works at a dim sum restaurant, and cooked sticky rice. So guess who won.

(Spoiler alert: Dale won.) (Spoiler alert: Sticky rice, when done right, is AMAZING.) (Spoiler alert: I really want the Dim Sum Truck to return to our office!)

But the REAL reason I’m writing this post is for Lauren, because this episode featured some Fabio gems, including a FLASHBACK to his famous “This is Top Chef, it’s not Top Scallops!” clip. Prompted by Jamie wanting to cook scallops for the dim sum challenge.

Fabio: Jamie, didn’t  you learn anything from season 5? [Cue montage of Jamie presenting scallop dishes… which were mostly unsuccessful, I guess. I don’t fully remember.]

Flashback– Fabio: This is Top Chef, it’s not Top Scallops!

His hair is longer now.

Red-headed Tiffany also went on a funny rant about how she’s a 36DD, and if she took off her bra she would knock people out. I find it hilarious that one of the guys said something like, “You girls don’t wear bras, do you?” Um… hello? I mean, I don’t know how other girls live. But I’m kind of a Tiffany, so… yeah, bras are for real. They’re not a myth.

If Fabio gets eliminated in the near future, I think red-headed Tiffany or Tre will be the new comic relief. Already Tre is a wealth of funny soundbyte interviews.

On grocery shopping in Chinatown–

Tre: This market isn’t your, like, Whole Foods kinda place. They kind of look at you at the meat counter like, “What you want?” And I’m like, “What’s DEAD?” [Laughs]

Fabio gets a little ferklempt at the turtle tanks.

Fabio: I notice that there is a tank full of turtle. When I moved to the United States, I bought a little turtle. She is a PRINCESS. Once or twice a week, I take her for a walk. I have a little Chihuahua leash that I tie around her shell and tie up to the chairs so she just go back and forth. Now these guys is cutting turtle to make turtle soup. And that’s MEAN.

All during that story, we actually SEE Fabio walking the turtle. Then it cuts back to his interview, and Fabio does a perfect Napoleon Dynamite-style eye roll/sigh combo. “God!” he sighs, exasperated.

Because this aired several days ago, gems such as this are easily Googled:

Oh, Fabio.

I finally got my mom on the “Top Chef” train, and she weighed in that her favorite is the “handsome Italian.” And it turned out she was talking about ANGELO. So weird, because last season he was sort of the villain– right? I don’t know. Everything’s shifting! (And PS, the obvious guy to call “the Italian” would be the one who is FROM ITALY.)

But maybe my mom will have time to join Team Fabio, because– miracle of miracles– his dish was in the top 3.

Casey got out for making inedible chicken feet– which she’d never cooked before. (And which many would argue are not particularly edible, even when prepared correctly.) Casey was mad at Antonia for frying the feet while Casey worked the house, but it turned out that the correct way to cook them was to fry them EVEN HOTTER. So… oops.

Okay, that was a little dose of TV, albeit food-oriented TV. (Appropriate!)


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The MAD MEN Missile Crisis: Episode 410 Recap

September 27, 2010


Last night’s “Mad Men” (episode 410: “Hands and Knees”) was… I mean, HOLY SHIT. Everybody is fucked!

Beware: This is a level 5 on the spoiler alert scale. (Or, like, a code red on the Homeland Security Spoiler-Alert scale.)

At the beginning of the episode, Don’s biggest concern was that Harry Crane wouldn’t come through with tickets to the Beatles concert at Shea Stadium. Did you notice that Betty was actually HAPPY when she found out that Don would be taking Sally to that concert? Does she love Don again, a little bit?

Also– I was kinda surprised that Betty was okay with Sally going to the concert, because my dad was older than Sally at the time, and he wasn’t allowed to go.

When Sally finds out about the tickets, she screams like a crazy person. Like… those girls in the Beatles concert footage. So yeah. She’ll have a great time. (Don says that he’s going to wear earplugs. Haha.) (Square!)

Speaking of Harry, what is UP with him? He needs to take a plane to California immediately? Shady business. Maybe an affair?

Anyway, thanks to Pete’s new government-y missile-making client (National Aviation? National Aeronautics?), Don’s new secretary (Megan from reception– Mrs. Blankenship died last week, in case you missed it) filled out a form to get him government clearance. And he signed it, not realizing what it was. And that THREE out of EIGHT answers were lies.

So the g-men show up at the original Draper residence and question Betty, and she keeps Don’s secrets. They have a great phone call where he thanks her. Later that night, Betty tells new-husband Henry that the g-men came to question her, because she doesn’t want to have secrets. And then Henry’s like, if things go well, they’ll be investigating me. Big aspirations. Blah blah. Bleh.

Don finds out (from Pete, who knows his Dick Whitman secret) that if they drop the $4 million Astro-whatever account, the investigation will stop. So he’s like, SHUT IT DOWN! (I kept thinking it would be kinda hilarious if “30 ROCK” and “Mad Men” merged, especially… I’ll get to that.) But Pete’s like, fuck you and your lies!

He gives this lovely little speech to Trudy about how the honest people always suffer. Oh, Pete. I mean… Peggy didn’t tell him about the baby? I guess that upset him. But he has cheated at least… two times? Three times? And has definitely done some other scummy stuff. So he’s not exactly a saint.

And also, Trudy looks like a crazy pink marshmallow in her maternity nightie.

Snuggle time!

But I love her. She’s awesome. And she wants Pete to talk things out with her. No secrets! (You know… other than the secrets.)

There’s also a funny Don/Pete moment where they get on an elevator, and Don tells some unseen person to take another elevator. Snap! Men gotta talk!

Don goes on a date with Faye, and when he gets home two guys are standing in his hallway. It turns out they’re just (conveniently) lost, and everybody wore g-men-looking coats and hats back then, but Don freaks out and has what appears to be a Level Five Panic Attack (I’m using the tornado scale).

Don thinks he’s having a heart attack, but Faye says he’s not because her father had heart problems, and his heart would hurt. Don’s like, “Fuck you, you’re not a real doctor.” Haha. Did they know what panic attacks were, back then? Apparently not.

Faye refuses to leave Don’s side because he’s obviously not well, and eventually he tells her that he switched places with the REAL Don Draper and that he’s a Korean War deserter. OH. Faye wonders if there’s a statute of limitations on things like that, but Don’s like, NO, I’m FUCKED. He’s sorry that he told her, but she’s glad he did. And then she lies down next to him, and she’s totally his next wife. NO SECRETS.

Seriously, Don is SURE sure that he’s super-fucked. Like, he sets up a trust for his kids, which Betty can access. (Bad idea?) He indicates to Pete that he might just have to disappear, and that SCDP can run without him.

We’ll discuss the thrilling conclusion of that story in a bit.

Meanwhile, Joan is pregnant. And the baby is Roger’s.

You ARE the father.

Joan has been TRYING to get pregnant, so I think the logical thing to do here is to lie that the baby is a little farther along than it is, and pretend it’s Dr. Greg’s. But Joan decides to get an abortion, and Roger chips in the $400. They get a referral from an extremely disapproving doctor, and Joan goes out to New Jersey to take care of it. (She won’t let Roger drive her.)

I guess she can’t go to her BFF gynecologist who performed the last one, because she’d have all sorts of explaining to do. Now that she’s married.

At the clinic, Joan watches as a seventeen-year-old girl gets called in. The girl’s companion starts to cry, and I totally want Joan to pull a Liz Lemon and say, “It okay! Don’t… be cry?” But Joan actually knows how to administer comforting words, so she talks to the woman and finds out that the girl is her DAUGHTER, and the woman had her when she was fifteen. So… the mother of the abortion girl is 32. And Joan is… older than that?

But, as the mother notes, her daughter seems younger at seventeen than she felt at fifteen. (These days, 30 is the new seventeen.) The mother mistakenly thinks that Joan is waiting for her daughter. Joan goes along with it, lying that her daughter is fifteen.

I wonder if that age correlates with her first abortion.

We don’t see Joan get called in by the doctor, and maybe it’s wishful thinking, but I’m not 100% sure that she had the abortion. She shows up at work the next day all chipper and tells Roger that she’s fine. I mean, I know this is Joan’s third abortion, but I’m guessing you’d be in quite a bit of pain the next morning. (I don’t know!) (Seriously, Mom, I don’t!)

Meanwhile, Roger almost has another REAL heart attack, because Douchey McAwful of Lucky Strike announces that he’s cutting off the company’s 30-year relationship with Sterling Cooper. Jerk-face reminds Sterling that he inherited the Lucky Strike account. (And Jerk-face inherited Lucky Strike. So what?)

There’s more father/son going on, elsewhere in this episode. We’ll get to that.

Roger FREAKS, because Lucky Strike is the biggest account they have ($7 million), and he begs for 30 days to get Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce’s affairs in order.

I hate you.

My first thought was, Can they hire Salvatore Romano now?! Because if you remember, he was fired for rejecting THAT GUY’S advances.

But they can’t hire ANYONE, because the company is fucked. Double fucked, because Don is forced Pete to get rid of the Aviation account. Which Pete cultivated last season, while Don was off gallivanting with the Palm Springs jet-setters. Anyway.

And Roger has to shake hands with that guy, when he really wants to murder him.

So– Don is fucked. Pete is fucked. Roger is fucked. Joan is… un-fucked?

Let’s check in with my favorite enigma, Lane Pryce. England’s finest.

So, Lane’s son is supposed to come visit. Lane has an adorable Mickey Mouse doll and some red, white and blue balloons at the ready. (Which… are both American and British colors, but I’m assuming he’s going for America-ness.) But… little Nigel is nowhere to be found. Instead, Lane’s FATHER shows up, ready to drag Lane back to England.

Uh oh.

So Lane, Don, and Lane’s father (Robert), go to the Playboy Bunny club. (Whatever it’s called.) Lane is a member, and it’s obvious that this Bunny named Toni is his girlfriend. Nice going, Lane!

Meet the parents.

Did you notice that she’s black? That shouldn’t be a problem in 1965.

But good for him! Lane is full of surprises, isn’t he? Under his straight-laced exterior, he’s all kinds of interesting.

Now that I think about it– did we see Toni before this? I think we might have, but my brain is mushy around this. Maybe I’m just having deja vu. (The last woman I definitely remember seeing him with is the New Year’s prostitute.) Either way, it turns out that she and Lane are already in the “I love you” phase of things, and he’s staying in America for her. (Is he divorced? Or just separated? I can’t remember.)

Toni’s not exactly pleased that she had to meet Lane’s father in a Bunny costume during work, so Lane decides to take Robert and Toni out to dinner, so they can get to know each other. Robert is polite to Toni, but backs out of dinner, using the excuse that he’ll be traveling in the morning. Lane sends Toni ahead so that they don’t lose their reservation.

And then… ROBERT SLAMS LANE IN THE FACE WITH HIS CANE! It’s nuts. I thought Lane was going to lose an eyeball, or that his dad was going to beat him to death. Old man justice, you guys.

America may have won the Revolution, but Britain carries a big stick. WHACK!

Out of a really crazy episode, that was probably the craziest scene. And saddest. Because Lane is… what, in his forties? And he can’t do what he wants. He’s still ruled by his father. He’s lying on the floor, totally helpless. Totally bleeding.

And he just wanted to see his son.

So… Lane is fucked. Everybody is fucked.

The partners gather for a meeting, and Pete announces that they lost the Astro-peeps (because Don forced him to, ehrm, abort the mission). Pete doesn’t blame Don. And he sits there and takes it as Roger FREAKS OUT at him. Because as only Roger knows, they also lost Lucky Strike. Triple fucked. (When Joan goes through their roster, he says NOTHING when she reads Lucky Strike. So… he’s sitting on ticking time-bomb.) (Or a missile, if we want to keep with the title/theme.)

I was proud of Pete for holding his ground, even though it’s unfair. He’s a man now. And he’s going to be a father in about 10 seconds. Don does very little to defend Pete, but Bert has the final word. He reminds Roger that accounts come and go. That’s the name of the game.

And Roger says NOTHING about Lucky Strike. ARGH!

Lane announces that since the accounts are all in order (or SO HE THINKS), he’s taking a leave of at least two weeks to put his affairs together in England. And then he just walks out. Gone. Which means he will probably be in London when the shit hits the fan. And he’s the money guy.


Um, are Pete and maybe-pregnant Joan (and absent-from-this-episode Peggy) going to be left alone with Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce? Is there even going to BE a SCDP by the end of the season? They’ve lost their biggest account, Don’s ready to run at a moment’s notice, Lane may or may not return from England, and Roger and Bert are old and sickish.

Mrs. Blankenship was the canary in the coalmine, maybe. (She died. Sorry, I didn’t recap last week.) (Or maybe I did a small one? Why is my brain so crap?) (I’m drinking so much water! It can’t be dehydration.) (Maybe my brain is waterlogged?)

At the end of the episode Megan brings in the Beatles tickets. She’s like, yay, everything worked out. Can I go now? (It’s 8pm, but the sun is shining. Does that happen in NYC?) (It happens in Vancouver in the summer. I LOVE VANCOUVER!)

Don stands staring at Megan as she reapplies her lipstick. At first I was wondering, is he macking on her? What about Faye?

Then I realized: He’s probably thinking, how can you be so cavalier? You filled out the form that FUCKED ME. And your life just goes on like nothing happened. (But she was just doing her job.) (And he signed it without reading it.) (That’s what he does!)

But hey, the Beatles tickets came through! They were the red herring. (But still, something’s up with Harry.)

It was a great episode, filled with so many “Holy shits!” and moments where I just burst out laughing. I’m probably forgetting some of the funnier moments. Or maybe they weren’t funny, so much as shocking. But this was definitely… wow. We’re on a roll. Which means the finale must be looming.

Okay, time to eat some banh mi! And revel in the fact that I am not any of the “Mad Men” peeps. They are SO fucked.

They’ve all been whacked with a cane, literally or metaphorically. Cut down. Thus, episode 410 is called “Hands and Knees.” Will they crawl out of this mess intact?

Next week’s episode is called “Chinese Wall.” Not “Great Wall of China.” Just “Chinese Wall.”

Let the speculation begin!


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30 ROCK Is (Still) My Life

September 26, 2010

For me?

As I’ve mentioned in the past, “30 Rock” has a lot of parallels with my life. My friends tell me that I remind them of Liz Lemon, in my words and actions. I’ve been a page. I’ve been Cerie (a head writer’s assistant). There was even that episode where Frank wore an outfit right out of my wardrobe.

But “30 Rock” takes place at a live sketch show on NBC in New York City, and that’s all foreign territory to me. People often THOUGHT that my page-dom was similar to Kenneth’s, but NBC pages are… much more prestigious. I would say– trust me, guys, my pagedom was NOT like that.

What was my pagedom like? I don’t know if I feel like getting SUED today. But I have some great stories.

For now, I’ll let Kenneth sum it up for you.


Kenneth: Welcome to the Late Show with David Letterman. Please have your tickets out. And now, as with all studio audiences, we will sort you according to attractiveness.

Kenneth is not the only person who has graced TV screens across the nation with that blazing red blazer. I know I have a no-photos-of-me on the blog policy, but just this once…

The Price is my dignity.

That is me in the background, with my hands clasped as if I am SO HAPPY for that girl. Where’s my Best Supporting Actress Daytime Emmy?

Also: YES, I paused my TV and took a picture of myself on it. (High tech.) In my defense: When am I ever going to be on TV again?

But enough about THAT. (For now.)

I have to admit that I’ve never seen an episode of “The Barefoot Contessa” (is she really a contessa?), but nonetheless I was tickled by the Liz/Matt Damon storyline. I actually might be more of an Ina Garten than a Liz Lemon.

Liz: It’s perfect. I’m like that woman on the Food Network whose husband only comes home on the weekends. And she spends the rest of her time eating and drinking with her gay friends.

And Matt Damon sobbing was beyond hilarious/priceless. I love that Liz always bags these handsome guys who turn out to be a little bit (or a lot bit) nutty when she cracks the surface. (His character is named Carol, but I’m just going to call him Matt Damon. I don’t know if I’m spelling Carol right.)

Here are some quotes that I loved from the scene where Matt Damon reveals that he wants their relationship to evolve into something deeper.

Matt Damon: (sobbing) I’m not like Jeffrey Garten! I’m not as strong as that guy!

-They cut to a clip of Jeffrey Garten while Matt Damon is crying, and the juxtaposition is hilarious. Because Jeffrey Garten is a sweet little teddy bear of a man.

Liz: No! It okay! Don’t… be cry?

-Liz is so freaked out by Matt Damon’s outburst that her brain seems to turn off. Like, full-on no idea what to do. She kind of moves to pat his shoulder, but doesn’t actually touch him. Or form complete sentences. I think we’ve all been stuck there in Awkward City, thinking, How am I supposed to respond to THIS? Maybe it’s early, but I think this is going to be the “30 Rock” quotable of the season.

Matt Damon: (still sobbing) I want grown-up love!

-This “grown-up love” stuff is deep. I don’t want to get into it right now. I’ll end up writing a thesis. But I think it’s hilarious that the few hours a week that Liz sees her guy, they sit around in matching flannel shirts, eat a block of cheese and Wheat Thins, drink white wine, and watch “The Barefoot Contessa.” (That may or may not be my MO…) (With less cheese.) (And “30 Rock” instead of the Contessa.)

Liz: I can’t believe I tried to clean my bathtub for this!

-Not long before watching this episode, I scrubbed my bathtub. I’m such a Liz. But I’m 24. I guess the joke is that she’s… too old to be a Liz anymore. (She’s a showrunner. She should totally hire a maid.)

And this one made me laugh, because… budgets. Also: Valuing writers as monetized items rather than people.

Jenna: Liz, the writers can’t take a car service at night anymore. I’ve crunched the numbers, and it’s cheaper for us to just replace anyone who gets murdered.

You guys, I am melting. It’s sooo hot in my apartment. And I don’t GET hot, so I know it’s REALLY hot.

Time to eat some ice cream and watch SNL, which I didn’t even realize premiered last night. That’s why DVR is such a gem.


BORED TO DEATH is Back Tonight!

September 26, 2010

I agree.

“Bored to Death” season 2 begins tonight! On HBO! I’m excited.

If you didn’t watch this show last season, you missed out. Jason Schwartzman. Ted Danson. Zach Galifianakis. BROOKLYN. Cameos by every funny comic actor ever. This:

"Therapists are heroic. They're the heroes of listening."

Need I say more? Get on the train.

Which train? Where? I have been studying up on my Brooklyn with my Ork poster.

Where to?

And no, I don’t live in Teddy Bear Heaven. I just messed with the exposure because the poster looked dark.

Don’t worry, I’m not self-loathing. I also have the LA poster. I just happen to be from Brooklyn once-removed. (My dad was born there.) And if I didn’t live here, I’d probably live there.

(Sad truth time: As far as I know, I have only ever been in Brooklyn once, a few years ago. We were driving through at night, in a car, and we were only there for a few minutes. We didn’t get out.) (That’s why I need to visit my cool hipster Brooklyn friends, STAT!)

Incidentally, I rescued that teddy bear from an all-male strip revue. (Not sexy. Totally cheesy.) The teddy used to hang out on the bookshelf at my last office, but he lives in my room now. The Zach Galifianakis with the sex thought bubble was on my bulletin board at my old office. (I had it in postcard form.) That’s also somewhere in my room.

Yeah, my room is cluttered with weird stuff, but with any luck I’ll buy a ROOM bookshelf today. And put all my weird old office crap on it. (And hang that picture? But I kinda like having it in my eye-line when I type on my bed.)

My new office (aka my cubicle) is somewhat less lurid, decorations-wise.

Well, maybe not. There IS a fake blood bag. (Still unnoticed… so obviously not too shocking.)

“Bored to Death.” Tonight. You won’t be! (I hope.)



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